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Monday, January 19, 2015

WEEK 1: BACK TO SCHOOL


This past week, after a year long break of trying to figure out who I am and what I want from my life, I went back to school. I knew it was the right decision. It was time. And I have to say, I'm actually excited every day to go to school. Not actually in the morning so much (7AM not my jam) but studying and improving myself and actually being challenged every day feels so good. 

It's slightly scary to be, in theory, committing to what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Sure, things change, and who really knows for sure what the future holds. (No one. That's who.) But still, I'm scared of letting myself down, of failing, of not living up to my full potential, all these crazy pressures I put on myself to do things a certain way and be the best, which is not one of my best traits. Of course, I should always try my best, but I'm also trying to let go of these insane standards that I hold myself to that aren't realistic.  

I still don't have it all figured out. I probably never will. But for now, I'm excited for my future. I'm working hard, I know what I want, and if I can just take deep breaths every once in a while and not be such a brat in the morning, or when I'm stressed, or hungry, or anytime, I'll be happy with myself. I'm off to study again but I just wanted to get some of these thoughts down before I lost them in my brain that seems to be filled to capacity with to do lists. Happy Monday!

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