Monday, November 17, 2014


I'v never believed in having a "case of the Mondays". But today, today was a Monday. And it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I could actually trace it's origin back to last night, when I got extremely emotional while watching a movie that shouldn't have made me emotional at all. It was a build up of everything that day, week, month, year, and then just suddenly I was sobbing and could not stop, which lead to very little sleep, which I do not operate well on. My body is one of routine and needs a set schedule and pattern, mess with that routine and I am not a happy camper. 

As the day wore on, annoying things continued to happen. Accidents on the road, ice everywhere, falls, and then of course the necessary daily family drama and worry that accompanies it. Lately, I've been sucked into this deep dark place of hopelessness, loneliness, and despair. It feels like nothing can bring me out of it. I'll be happy for a few moments, grateful, focusing on the good things but it won't last. A trigger reminds me of something and I'm right back to where I started from.

The changing of the seasons could have something to do with it, as well as normal human emotion. I'm just hoping it improves. It has to get better, right? At some point, it has to get better.

In the meantime, I'm trying so hard to focus on the blessings I've been given and appreciating this season of gratefulness.

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