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Sunday, July 6, 2014

HOME: A PERSONAL STORY


The dictionary defines home as: a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household. Or as: the place in which one's domestic affections are centerered. 

House and home have two very different meanings. A house is a structure, while home is a feeling. A feeling of acceptance, safety, love, happiness. It isn't the easiest thing to come by and having a house without having a home is entirely possible. 

When I was in middle school, my family moved from my hometown, the place where I'd grown up, was settled and happy, to move to Idaho. While at first I had a difficult time adjusting (who wouldn't?), I eventually learned to love and appreciate the move. You can't change the past, right? 

But soon after the move, my life began to change, drastically. Constants (parents, family, religion) suddenly became uncertain. The feeling of home, of safety, was lost over time. As I grew up and moved on, I lost the feeling of truly having a home. Sure, it was still the same house we had moved to when I was a teenager. But it had changed. It was no longer my safe place.

In the past year, we've slowly tried to regain that feeling. There are still obstacles to overcome, life is not, and will never be, perfect. For the past week, slowly, I've helped my parents move from their house into their new home. Our house on Homer, while beautiful, is filled with so many sad memories. Some good of course but so many painful experiences I wish I could forget. I have no emotional attachment, which is a tiny bit crazy and a lot sad, considering 7 years of my life were spent living there. 

In a way, I feel homeless. I no longer have a room at a place at my parent's home, which no matter what happened, I always had a room, a place, to fall back on. But now, there is no room. It's suddenly, like hey real life here, welcome to being a full blown adult. Although, let's be honest, adulthood is not quite happening yet. 

For the next month until I move into my new apartment, I'm living at my grandparents while they're in Nebraska for three weeks. And in the week that I've been here, I've felt more at peace, relaxed, and truly at home than I have felt in years.  


^^Home, currently.^^

2 comments :

  1. I was thinking about this yesterday--what it means to establish a real home--and appreciate this post. Well said, well said.

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    Replies
    1. It's the best feeling in the world to feel at home, right?

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