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Monday, July 21, 2014

A SLIGHT CHANGE IN PLAN


Earlier this month, I moved out of my parent's house and had a plan: a deposit for an apartment to move into the first week of July. The plan was to stay with my grandparents for a few weeks until it was time to move in. They were out of town for two weeks so it worked well all around. Now my grandpa's company has made some changes and they are actually planning on being gone for two weeks of every month. I've decided to live with them for the next year while they commute back and forth to Omaha for two weeks at a time. I was hesitant at first as I was so looking forward to having my own space to make my own but am so happy to be here. It's relaxing, there's a fully stocked fridge at all times, a beautiful garden, a pool, and it's close enough to my family that they're able to pop in and going out to their house for dinner doesn't seem like a trek. 

I've learned that life is funny. Nothing has gone how I would have imagined and expected it to. Sometimes, even just remembering the past is painful. Wondering how things may have turned out differently is painful. Those thoughts that come late at night, clouding my mind with sadness and anger. They'll always be part of life but I can feel myself moving on from them. Just in the past few weeks, I've been more motivated and happy. Happy with litte things, like the flowers on my bedside table, my vanilla candle, a surprise delicious burger, the perfect temperature at night. It truly will always be the little things. 

I'm quite enjoying my time here and am looking forward to using this time as a transition period where I have the ability to not be completely tied down. To a person, to a place, everything can change if I want it to. I see some of my friends, siblings, that have paired off so early in life and started having kids and responsibilites that they just don't seem ready for but think it may heal them. I'm so happy that I know how to be by myself and be happy with me. It's been a journey but I'm so glad to be here. To keep going and building myself and my life that I'm happy with.

Happy almost Tuesday you all. And hooray to late nights that won't let me sleep. 

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