Monday, June 30, 2014


When I was in second grade, I had the realization that the world is not a perfect place. Thank you for my parents for keeping that secret for so long. Growing up, we didn't have TV so until I learned to read well, I didn't really ever hear the news. In second grade while working on a school project, I read a story in the newspaper about a girl my age who had disappeared from her kitchen in Louisiana. Her dad gotten in the shower while she was sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal and when he got out, she had vanished. For months afterward, I couldn't sleep alone. My parents moved my mattress onto the floor of their room and there it stayed for months. It was the only place I felt safe. Eventually, I realized I was safe in my home, with my parents, and was able to move back into my own room. However, this incident firmly established me as a worrier and homebody -- I couldn't even spend the night at friend's houses.

I would consider myself pretty well adjusted since then. Last night was a different story though. After a long day of work, I sat down and started watching an episode of "Law and Order: SVU". My favorite of all the "Law and Orders". It was an episode from last season, where Detective Olivia Benson is kidnapped by a sadistic rapist named William Lewis. (Side note: the actor playing Lewis also plays Pornstache from "Orange is the New Black". He is much better looking without the mustache and is haunting at portraying scary characters.) And then the episode just ended and a rerun of Modern Family began. Out loud, by myself, I said "And you're going to end it like that, USA Network?" I immediately went and renewed an old Hulu subscription to watch the next episode. After finishing, I was scared senseless. Spending the night alone in a house suddenly seemed like the worst idea. All the lights immediately went on, my pepper spray was located and put on my nightstand, along with the biggest kitchen knife I could find. Overreaction, much?

Eventually, slowly, and not until 3 in the morning, was I able to fall asleep. Lights went off one at a time and the TV was kept on all night, with my hamper placed in front of my door. You know, in case anyone tried to walk into my room, that hamper was going to save me, dammit! 

I'm feeling better now but have decided to be sure to only watch scary episodes, in a house alone, during the daylight hours. Needless to say, I woke up for work desperately in need of coffee and was ready for a nap by 10 AM. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown all morning (little sleep does that to me) so I let myself come home and snuggle back into bed in the middle of the afternoon and couldn't be more happy with my decision. 

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